I would spend 8 painful hours in post op before they had my room cleaned
The weight of the leg exercisers when off would make it hard to move my legs and I would have to be like that for 12 hours
That my dad would leave me after visiting after ten minutes. And I would be alone except for that first hour my mom was there
That my leg would spasm so badly, jumping with the weights pulling at the new incision
I would have a catheter and have to walk with it
I would have bed accidents
I would not be able to sleep
That I wouldn’t get anything denser than pudding to eat for 48 hours
That my back would hurt so much for the way I would have to lay/sleep/sit That I would struggle with my own mortality
That my kidney is set so much lower than my others
That we wouldn’t have to cut my gut sack
How much, despite pain, sickness and struggle, I wanted this kidney,
How I want to do everything to protect this gift.
How much different I would feel healthwise coming out of this
That an overwhelming sense of gratitude to God and humans would overcome me
How damn thankful I am to my donor and my donor’s family
How much of a blessing I was truly given
Audrey Elaine Adamson
IG: @spoonsonthewall
Blog: https://spoononthewall.wordpress.com/