I'm Disabled and Still Desirable

For a long time, I felt like I had to choose between being disabled and being seen as desirable. As if softness, sensuality, and confidence couldn’t exist in the same body as struggle, fatigue, or assistive devices.

But let me say it plainly: I am disabled, and I am still desirable.

Not in spite of my disability, but including it. With it. Through it.

⸻

Society Tries to Dim Us

There’s this unspoken message we’re given: that disability makes us less. Less beautiful. Less sexy. Less worthy of love or attention.

People don’t always say it out loud, but it’s there—in the stares, in the way we’re overlooked, in the way people talk around us instead of to us. There’s a narrative that says we should be grateful for scraps of love, or stay quiet when we want more.

But I know better now. My body tells a story, and it deserves to be heard, not hidden.

⸻

Desirability Isn’t One Look

I may not fit the mold the media pushes—but I’m still magnetic. My confidence, my laughter, my softness, my strength—they’re all part of what makes me desirable. My slippers and Snuggie on a fatigue day? Still cute. My cane or guide dog by my side? Still powerful.

And if someone can’t handle all that beauty wrapped in practicality… well, they probably fold their pizza with a fork too. We don’t trust them.

⸻

What I Want Others to Know

Being disabled doesn’t mean I don’t want to be touched, loved, seen, desired. It doesn’t mean I don’t flirt, crave connection, or enjoy romance.

I want people to know:

• We don’t lose our sensuality when our bodies shift

• We don’t stop being beautiful just because we need help

• Desire isn’t reserved for the able-bodied

We might move differently, feel differently, need accommodations—but none of that makes us any less deserving of deep, real, joyful love.

⸻

Reclaiming My Space

I’ve stopped shrinking myself to make others comfortable. I dress how I want. I speak up when I feel unseen. I remind myself daily: My body is not broken, it is brilliant. And it’s worthy of love, desire, and delight.

⸻

You Are Desirable, Too

If you’re reading this and doubting your worth, please hear me: Your disability doesn’t erase your beauty. Your need for care doesn’t cancel out your desirability. You are enough exactly as you are—not when you’re better, stronger, or more “normal.”

You’re already whole.

With love, CR

youtube.com/channel/UCT0Hp9qoXKMugNuY2DSnhfA

Photo Credit: Hans Moerman